I never dreamt that I would see the day I would say "I'm with the band". I thought the closest I would ever get would be that time my god-sister and I performed for our parents at the ripe old age of 6.
I was always someone who sang in the shower or when I was drunk, but never thought I was any good, so when my (at the time) new boyfriend, Arjan, asked me to assist him with a performance assessment for university because he was too ill to sing, I was a little taken aback. Could I do this? Would I freeze on stage and only emit a strange croaking noise? would I pee myself?!
It took almost a whole bottle of wine for me to even be able to rehearse the night before, so at 9am the next morning in the cold, sobering light of day I was a little nervous to say the least.
Anyway, I got through it and Arjan got an ok grade and I put it behind me, thinking that would be the end of it.
When he came to me a few months later asking for help writing and recording a song in the style of Laura Marling (one of the artists they were given to choose from) I was a bit surprised, but reluctantly agreed to do it.
It was fun this time, writing our own song, thinking up all the other parts for instruments we could use, recording in a friend's studio. There was less pressure than the performance and I felt much more at ease. I realised that I enjoyed this and I'd quite like to do it a bit more.
Arjan and I started playing with the idea of writing more music together and eventually decided to give it a try.
We struggled through a couple more songs and recorded demos for them, played them to some family members and friends to see if we could give it a shot.
Fast forward 2 years and here we are, competing to open one of the biggest pop festivals in the Netherlands, having played some of the most prestigious venues.
I still don't quite believe it sometimes and I think the adrenaline rush I get from going on stage is the closest I will get to sky diving.
It's amazing fun, we always have such a good time with the boys in the band, but it's also incredibly hard work.
Writing songs can be such a frustrating process, I always find that the first verse is really easy, something will come to me and flow really naturally, but then it can take me a month to think of something to follow it and complete the song.
And gigging! Oh my gosh is it draining. Most of the gigs we've done recently are at least a couple of ours drive away and before that there is the game of car boot tetris as we try to squeeze everything in. Then there's the drive, the unloading, the setting up, the sound checking and finally the gig, then you have to do all that in reverse before getting home.
I'm sure it gets easier when you're famous enough to pay people to do all this for you (it would be nice to reach that stage) but for now we just have to struggle on and do the best we can.
I had no idea how fulfilling doing this would be, now I can't imagine not doing it. I've always been a fairly quiet person so it takes a lot for me to get up on the stage in front of a crowd but I think every successful gig we have is building up my confidence little by little and I think I'm becoming a better person because of it.
Moving to the Netherlands has been a big part of that, in the UK the new music scene is so saturated with artists trying to make their mark that it becomes impossible for bands to get gigs outside of local pubs, bigger venues even ask that you bring your own audience and they'll only pay you if you bring X number of people. It was quite shocking for me to see the difference in treatment that new bands get in the Netherlands compared to the UK. Here you are treated like real musicians, everything is organised on such a professional level, most venues have trained sound technicians, make sure the band gets fed and watered throughout the evening, promotes the night and pays the band a pre-arranged fee!
At several UK gigs we were lucky to get a can of beer each.
Because Arjan and I are in a relationship as well as the band, we have to be very careful to try not to let one interfere with the other. I suppose it's the same for any couple who works together. It can be really tricky at times, if we have a big argument at home before a gig, I have to work hard to get myself out of my mood to perform. Luckily a couple of beers and chatting with the guys usually helps that.
I find it is especially testing writing songs together. I write a majority of the lyrics and tend to get an idea of how a song should sound in my head, but because I can't play any instruments and don't know any of the notes it's a tricky process trying to get Arjan to understand what I want. It can result in a LOT of arguments that end with me sitting their pouting and refusing to do any more (yes, I am very childish sometimes).
All in all, I love this band. I have a great time doing the gigs and I'm lucky to have such a brilliant group of guys to do this with. I hope it's something I can do for years to come.
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